No Assholes Allowed

No Assholes Allowed

Pope of Love Sermon: The Asshole Rule Edition
(In the spirit of rhyme and revelry)

Gather ‘round, my dearest flock,
Let’s chat about a toxic shock.
Not from wires or bolts or flame,
But from those who play the Asshole Game.

Oh yes, dear friends, it’s true, it’s true,
Assholes lurk in the office zoo.
They huff, they puff, they belch, they sneer,
They crush your joy and spread their fear.

But fret not, child, for there’s a Rule,
That makes a workplace kind, not cruel:
No Assholes Allowed, that’s the vibe,
It’s how the Pope of Love keeps a tribe.

Let’s do a test—oh yes, let’s check:
If after a chat you feel like dreck,
If you’re smaller, sadder, slumped in your chair,
You might’ve just faced an Asshole’s glare.

And oh, they come in many a shade:
The sneaky sarcasm, the insult parade.
The glares, the stares, the power trips,
The whispered threats from tightened lips.

But hear me now, my loves, my sweets,
Your workplace ain’t a battleground of tweets.
It’s a place for respect, for kindness, for grace,
Not a toxic pit where you lose your face.

So say it with me, bold and true:
We don’t need assholes in our crew!
Not the loud ones, not the sly,
Not the “I’m just being honest” guy.

And if you find the jerk is you,
Take a breath, apologize, too.
We’re human beans, we all make mess,
But love is the antidote to stress.

So here’s my blessing, pure and bright:
May your workplace shine with love and light.
May you laugh, may you sing, may you thrive and grow,
And kick those assholes out the door, yo.

Amen.

 

This is based off the book:The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn’t is a bestselling management book by Stanford professor Robert I. Sutton. Originally published in 2007, it builds upon Sutton’s 2004 Harvard Business Review article, offering a candid examination of toxic workplace behavior and its detrimental effects on organization

🧠 Core Concepts

Defining “Asshole” Behavior
Sutton deliberately uses the term “asshole” to describe individuals who consistently demean, belittle, or bully others—especially those in less powerful positions. He differentiates between:Tyler DeVries+2Blinkist+2Wikipedia+2

To identify such behavior, Sutton proposes a two-question test:Wikipedia+11Blinkist+11Wikipedia+11

  1. After interacting with the person, do you feel oppressed, humiliated, or worse about yourself?

  2. Does the person target those who are less powerful? Training Practice+3Wikipedia+3Tyler DeVries+3

The “Dirty Dozen” Behaviors
Sutton outlines twelve common toxic behaviors, including insults, personal space violations, threats, sarcasm, humiliation, and glaring. Wikipedia+1Blinkist+1

💸 The Cost of Toxicity

Toxic individuals can significantly harm organizational health. Their presence often leads to:Guy Kawasaki+7Tyler DeVries+7Open Source Ecology+7

Sutton introduces the concept of the “Total Cost of Assholes” (TCA), highlighting the financial and cultural toll of retaining such individuals. Amazon+11Stanford Graduate School of Business+11Open Source Ecology+11

✅ Implementing the Rule

To foster a respectful workplace, Sutton recommends:Wikipedia+13Accessory To Success+13Harvard Business Review+13

  • Enforcing a No Asshole Policy: Clearly communicate and uphold standards against toxic behavior.

  • Zero Tolerance for Repeat Offenders: Even high performers should not be exempt from behavioral expectations.

  • Promoting Constructive Confrontation: Encourage open, respectful discussions to address issues.

  • Modeling Respectful Behavior: Leaders should exemplify the conduct they expect from others.Training Practice+3Tyler DeVries+3Wikipedia+3Open Source Ecology+2Wikipedia+2Wikipedia+2

He also discusses the “One Asshole Rule,” suggesting that having a single, visible toxic individual can serve as a deterrent, though this approach is controversial. Wikipedia

🧘♂️ Personal Reflection

Sutton emphasizes self-awareness, urging readers to recognize and curb their own negative behaviors. He provides strategies for managing one's "inner jerk" and offers guidance for coping in environments where toxic behavior is prevalent. Accessory To Success+4Amazon+4Tyler DeVries+4

📚 Further Reading

For those interested in exploring this topic further, Sutton authored The Asshole Survival Guide: How to Deal with People Who Treat You Like Dirt, offering additional strategies for handling toxic individuals. Accessory To Success+5Wikipedia+5Amazon+5

The No Asshole Rule is available in various formats, including paperback and Kindle editions. You can find it on Amazon.Goodreads

 

Back to blog

Leave a comment

Please note, comments need to be approved before they are published.