The Last Pope? A Sermon for the Slightly Concerned and Mildly Amused
Brethren, sisters, and those just here for the coffee and donuts,
Today, we gather to discuss a topic that has puzzled the internet prophets, the tinfoil hat enthusiasts, and that one uncle who always brings up “the end times” at Thanksgiving. Yes, my friends, it is the question: “Is Pope Francis the last Pope?”
Now, before you start panic-buying communion wafers and holy water, let’s take a breath. Because, honestly, if I had a dollar for every time someone predicted the end of the world, I’d be tithing from a private island.
The Prophecy of St. Malarkey… I Mean, Malachy
For those who don’t know, there’s this old list—probably written by a medieval monk who had too much sacramental wine—that supposedly predicts every pope until the last one. The final entry? Something about the end of the Church, Rome in flames, and all of us looking up and saying, “Well, that escalated quickly.”
But let’s be real—this list popped up conveniently in the 16th century, long after St. Malachy had gone to his heavenly reward. That’s like me leaving a note saying, “In the year 2525, Pope Chad XXIII will ride a cyber-horse into battle.” It sounds profound, but it’s mostly nonsense.
The Apocalypse and Other Scheduling Issues
If Pope Francis is the last pope, I just have one question: What happens next? Does the Vatican turn into an Airbnb? Do we get a reality show called So You Think You Can Be the Pope? Will the next pope be AI-generated? (PopeGPT, at your service.)
No, my friends, I say unto you, relax! Every generation has had its “last pope” and “end times” theories. They’ve been wrong every time. It’s like predicting the Cubs will never win the World Series—eventually, you just look silly.
What Do We Do While Waiting?
In the meantime, instead of stressing about celestial drama, let’s focus on some good old-fashioned earthly work:
- Be kind to each other.
- Help thy neighbor (especially if their WiFi is down).
- Maybe, just maybe, enjoy life without worrying about whether the pope is the final boss battle of the Church.
And if, by some wild chance, Pope Francis is the last one, well… let’s make sure we at least throw him a really great retirement party.
Can I get an Amen?