🎤 THE SERMON OF THE POPE OF LOVE: “Thou Shalt Not Be Basic—DEI Is Divine!”
Beloved siblings in the congregation of fabulousness,
Today, I come to you not with a stone tablet, but with a glitter-covered iPad and a word from the Holy Wi-Fi above: DEI is not just a woke buzzword—it’s a Gospel glow-up!
📖 Let us go to the beginning—not Genesis, because we ain’t got time for all them begats—but somewhere around the Book of Galatians, where Paul basically pulled Peter aside and said:
“Bro. You can't sit with the Gentiles one day, then ghost them when your old clique shows up. That’s not inclusion—that’s high school cafeteria drama.” 🙄
Yes, beloveds, Peter tried to pull a Regina George, but Paul was the original Apostle of Accountability! That’s Bible.
🌍 Diversity? That’s Day One!
God could’ve made one type of flower, one shade of sky, one body type on Tinder—but no! The Holy Creator said, “Let there be variety, honey!” From flamingos to fungi, heaven’s got range.
So when someone says, “Why do we need diversity in the church?” I say, “Because your potluck cannot survive on just one kind of casserole, Karen!”
⚖️ Equity? That's God's Justice with Style.
Look, God’s not handing out blessings like Oprah giving away cars to only the front row. God’s justice is equity. Remember the parable where the workers all got paid the same? People were salty, but Jesus said, “Mind your own coins—I’m generous like that.” (Paraphrased, of course.)
If Jesus ran an HR department, He’d absolutely be DEI-certified.
🤝 Inclusion? Jesus Was the Original Ally.
Who did Jesus roll with? The outcasts, the tax collectors, the lepers, and even that one loud friend who always talked too much at brunch—aka Peter.
Jesus didn’t gatekeep grace. He flung those pearly gates open like the bouncer at Club Heaven saying, “ALL ARE WELCOME! No cover charge, just bring your heart.”
🧩 Accessibility? Let’s Talk!
Accessibility ain’t extra—it’s essential. If someone can’t access the blessings because of stairs, language, or side-eyes from Sister Judith in the third pew, we’re not doing church—we’re doing a holy HOA meeting. And nobody wants that.
The early church wasn’t a gated community; it was a holy block party.
So, Church of the Bold and Beautiful, hear the final word of the Pope of Love:
💫 Diversity is divine.
💫 Equity is sacred.
💫 Inclusion is Gospel.
💫 Accessibility is love in action.
And if anyone tells you otherwise, just do what Paul would do—lovingly call them out and invite them to the table anyway. Because we don’t cancel people—we convert them with compassion (and maybe a little holy side-eye).
Go forth, shine bright, and remember: if your church doesn’t look like heaven, you might need to recheck your pews, boo.
Amen, A-woman, and A-everybody-in-between! 🙌